Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Day to Remember

I've been always wondering what it's like to be a tito. Ever since the day that my sister broke the news about her being pregnant and all till last Saturday when I finally saw my Nephew, Gabriel Louie. He was Beautiful. So little yet so Beautiful. When I felt his hand it was like Kianna all over again. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of being needed.

The other day, the day when i finally decided to show up at home to finally see Gabo. I was Surprised to see my daughter Kianna Gabrielle. She was invited by my mom since Gabo and her mom, my sister will be leaving the following day to go to her in-laws at Pasay. The Moment I saw the both of them I guess my heart just skipped a beat. Two in One you could say. The sad thing though was that Kiannas initial reaction upon seeing me was not that good. She cried. I dont blame her. It's all my fault. I was never around for her, I was never there. Not there during her firsts. Not the kind of dad that i dream t of being when I was a growing up. So I went back to Gabo whose half awake and a little bit groggy. I think he's about to doze of when all the guests started arriving. He was so cute. I couldn't help myself from picking him up. I just needed to touch him. I guess all the excitement boiled down to that moment.

Kianna and my youngest sister, Marga went out to play in the park so i grabbed the opportunity and followed them there. I didn't know what my sister told her but she gave me a kiss and a tight hug. The one that I wanted to give her ever since. And just like that the tension between us eased. We got to talk and she started calling me papa again. We played and talked the entire night and when the go signal was given that she'll be spending the night over I just didn't want the night to end.

I had a lot of things to tell her I just didn't know where to start. Or maybe i just didn't feel that it was the right time and that she'll understand although I know that she's a smart kid. Smarter than the kids of her age. By the way she'll be turning five this November. Though we didn't sleep together seeing her sleep was more than enough for me. All those years, I finally realized what I was missing. My baby girl. I just didn't expect that all will be this complicated between the two of us.

The following morning our adventure together continued. I just can't get enough of her calling me Papa, Pa. It's like music to my ears. I prepared her food and we ate lunch together. I promised her that we could play at the park once the sun is no longer a threat and so we did. She kept asking me questions which I eagerly answered. Being continuous with every word I tell her cause at the back of my mind those will stick with her for a long time. It just felt so good compared to watching her grow on her moms friendster account.

We were left alone around six Cause my mom had to accompany Gabo and Mitch to Pasay and Marga went to Church. I prepared her dinner, we watched TV while waiting for her Lola jean to pick her up. And when we both heard her lola calling from the outside I knew I needed to say good bye. Good Bye for now. But promised myself that I'll be ready for her the next time. I just hope she'll remember the thing we did together when she's on the other side and that she'll still say papa even if I'm not with her just like how she perpetually call her mama when we're together.

Published on: May 19, 2009 @ 14:33

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